Cranky

Issues about my own childhood are probably to blame for making me such a grouch around kids as a grown-up. But there are genuinely annoying things, too. Like I can hardly count the times someone has brought their kid to my yard and fruit & plants have been picked without permission. Now, parents think I'm out of line for not understanding that kids make mistakes, test boundaries, etc. Actually, I understand that they do. That's one of the many reasons I don't have kids. You may have made the choice for yourself but when you bring your kid to my house and don't watch them well, you're visiting your choice upon ME.

I just had a housecleaner come by to look at the place. She had to look before giving me an estimate. She made no mention that she'd have kids with her. So she parked illegally across my driveway and started ascending the stairs. I had to rein in my impulse to tell her that I was no longer interested in getting an estimate from her. The kids came in and asked where the bathroom was. Honestly, they were reasonably well-behaved but as I was talking with the housecleaner, I could hear a pop and another pop. The kids had discovered some bubblewrap I had waiting to be reused. Without asking, they started popping it. Now, that shit drives me insane. There is NO WAY that I would have done that when I was their age (I'm guessing these girls were 11). The mother did not notice it or make an attempt to tell the kids not to touch things that weren't theirs. I asked the kids if they wanted the bubblewrap and they gladly took it.

I just have a really hard time with bad behavior. It's bad enough that it's in the world at large but my home is supposed to be a refuge from that.

Where I Am Bodywise

I have been keeping a food diary here but hiding the entries because I don't want to bore the bejeesus out of y'all. I have been doing more stretches but I haven't yet launched the full exercise program yet. Part of the problem here is the continued insomnia. It is BRUTAL. When I get in bed at a decent hour, it never fails that I wake up merely 4 hours later and can't get to sleep again. I'm awake but not rested.

Today I was up into the wee hours because of insomnia. I took a Benadryl to try to knock myself out and it still took nearly an hour to kick in. I think I finally fell asleep at 8am. I slept until the early afternoon and then I went into kitchen to mix the fruit I got at yesterday's tasting into fruit rolls. I then went into the garden to pull some weeds, prune some invasives, and water the plants. Just doing that has exhausted me. I'm ready to go to sleep again. But I'm clearly not getting physically exhausted enough because that's probably what's causing the insomnia. Tired tired tired.

Anyway, I've been very good about my food intake, I think. Especially when we were in the Central Valley yesterday and stopped for gas. I wanted an ice cream sooooo badly. I didn't pick one up. Furthermore, when I found I couldn't find anything dietetic that didn't have caffeine, I reluctantly bought a plain ol' water (reluctant only because I hate paying for water). I'll have to be careful about how many fruit rolls I actually eat of what I'm making. There's no added sugar, but my insulin resistance is bad enough that I even have to limit how much fruit I can have.