spidra: (Default)
My aunt wrote me and, in passing, mentioned that she hoped the fitness regime was going well. I don't think she checks in here so it's not like writing her will reach her, but it reminded me that it's time for a check in. I have been very good about the dietary regime. Not perfect but very good. The imperfection is mostly brought about by the fact that I'm broke and I can get a lot of meals out of a $1 bag of Picante handmade corn chips. Eating meat or even eggs is not only more time-consuming in prep but much more expensive. Since my income is a private disability insurance check and it's in the air whether that will last, saving $ is kind of important.

However, I've been very good and disciplined for the most part. My dad was just visiting so we went out to eat a lot. No matter that the temptation was satanic, I resisted it. No créme brulée. No beignets (even though I'm curious to taste them because I've never been to N.O.). No chocolate cake. No chocolate malt. The only place I've been less than perfect is in occasionally letting starches such as corn chips pass my mouth. But only occasionally.

Anyway, I've deprived myself quite a bit. And the result? Not a single pound lost. This is why my attempts to get back on the wagon since 2004 have failed. If I'm working hard and being disciplined and not seeing results, I start asking myself why the hell I shouldn't just eat what I want. I mean, I'm going to be fat anyway, right?

I have not been good with the exercise regimen. Hard to say why. I've been wearing my pedometer and getting walks in a bit more but not dramatically so. Haven't started my DVD thing because my living room here is much less conducive to exercising in front of the screen than the place across the street. Then there's the worry that as I get more housemates it will be more disruptive for me to be exercising in the public space. I walked a bit more when my dad was in town and I even biked with him. However, the increased physical activity (including a lot of trying to de-clutter the house to show people, cleaning and doing dishes) has made my RSI worse. I spent the last 2 days sleeping more than usual due to the pain.

I haven't taken my measurements but I'd be willing to bet they're the same.

I'm disappointed that I haven't lost a thing but it's true that it's important for me to eat low-glycemic all the same. I'm a perfect candidate for Type II diabetes and I need to watch my step. Speaking of steps, here's my pedometer record. August 9th is the day I went for a walk with my dad as well as biking and walking again:

7/24/08 - 5861 steps
7/27/08 - 9381 steps
7/28/08 - 4740 steps
7/28/08 - 3009 steps

7/30/08 -5123 steps
8/1/08 - 4533 steps
8/2/08 - 4078 steps
8/3/08 - 4038 steps
8/4/08 - 6520 steps
8/5/08 - 10354 steps
8/6/08 - 10354 steps
8/7/08 - 6104 steps
8/8/08 - 8764 steps
8/9/08 - 13571 steps
8/10/08 - 7128 steps
8/11/08 - 9864 steps

First Day

Jul. 17th, 2008 04:08 pm
spidra: (Default)
Insomnia kicked in again last night. I probably didn't get to sleep until 4:30 am or so. Woke up at 8am, puttered, took a Benadryl, went back to bed. Woke up again at 3pm -ish.

Because I didn't plan this much, I wasn't prepared with a pantry that held only what I could eat. It was hard to stop myself from unconsciously grabbing whatever was around. Not that what's around is horrible...the kitchen table has tomatoes and unripe apricots from my garden. The issue was to be aware of what I was eating and making sure that if I'm limited in the types and amounts of what I can eat, that I'm choosing what will give me the "most bang for my buck". And also making sure I eat proteins before I eat anything that sends my blood sugar up. So I had half a small underipe apricot from my yard before realizing that it wasn't my best choice.

Breakfast wasn't much different than what I would have made before (I actually was making an effort to eat well...I just wasn't cutting out things like summertime ice cream) - scrambled eggs with garlic bulbils, purslane and rosemary. With a sprinkling of shredded cheese on top. But there's something about putting one's self on a regimen that psychs you out. I find myself craving something more now. And I probably would have had such a breakfast without feeling deprived before. But just the idea that I shouldn't have anything more for another couple hours makes me WANT more. Boo.

I started wearing my pedometer again last week. The minimum recommended amount of steps per day is 10,000. Here's how I've been doing (without making a specific effort to challenge myself...just getting in whatever the errands that day give me):

7/9/08 - 4620 steps
7/10/08 - 3239 steps
7/11/08 - 3679 steps
7/12/08 - 3518 steps
7/13/08 - 7761 steps
7/14/08 - 8224 steps
7/15/08 - 4097 steps
7/16/08 - 8579 steps

I feel a bit weird from the anti-depressant withdrawal (I don't have insurance anymore and the Primary Access Care Clinic cancelled my appt. without rescheduling so fuck them...) and probably from trying Benadryl to make me sleep. Well, and waking up in the afternoon, too. That's always weird.

I've got so many things I should be doing as well as things I want to do that I'm almost paralyzed trying to make the best choices. But I'd better get to it.
spidra: (Default)
I am in awful physical health. I wasn't in great health before my surgeries, but the way the recovery from the second surgery went put me in a tailspin from which I have not yet pulled out. I've had all sorts of evening epiphanies about starting to eat low carb again (which has worked best for me in the past and is more likely to keep me off the track to diabetes), doing all my physical therapy exercises, taking walks to work up to more general fitness....but the morning always brings something else.

I thought about setting up a structured program and doing it publicly. If I think about these things just to myself, there's little accountability. If I make a big announcement on the internet that I'm going to do something, there's more pressure to stick to it. Of course, I wonder if I have enough readers to even put enough pressure on me!

It's not a new idea even though it felt new to me. A short Google showed me quite a number of people who've built businesses, gotten book and movie deals, etc. out of putting their weight loss process on the internet. I don't flatter myself that I've got anything wildly new to say on the subject (other than perhaps the difficulty of recovering fitness while limited by a disability). It's really more of a tool to help myself. But if a pound drops in the forest, can anyone hear it?

Well, I'll give it some thought. This is another evening epiphany. An evening considering going to Health Recovery Center in Minnesota, fat farms in Arizona and yoga retreats in Ireland. And realizing that I don't have the money and that I could SAVE the money if I were just disciplined enough to do it at home!
spidra: (Default)
Last night, I asked my brother in email for a bit of help checking in with me to help me keep on track with fitness goals. I had a long conversation with him this morning and he offered me a bit of advice on why relying on someone else for check-ins wouldn't be such a good idea.

He's had some major injuries he's had to recover from. But I think that he, like many others, doesn't understand how the kind of repetitive stress injury I have differs from something like a broken limb or torn ligament. Folks recovering from injuries like those often get very intense physical therapy to help them do so. And there's usually a known trajectory of how the prescribed course of treatment will go. The first time I ever got physical therapy for my RSI was last year. I first got RSI in 1995. The only reason I was approved for physical therapy last year was because it was post-surgery physical therapy.

Anyway....I just got on the floor and tried to do some stretches and such for the first time in a while. I got the roller thingie and tried rolling my body against it to break up the knots. God, it hurts. It hurts so much. It always has. I'm supposed to use it mostly against my hips because I get bad sciatica-like symptoms but my thoracic outlet (the more commmonly-referenced one i.e. upper torso) has been so bad lately that I tried rolling it under my arms to break up the tightness in my pec major, pec minor, subscapularis and lats. Holy crap, it hurts.

It's different asking someone not only to be disciplined enough to exercise daily or even several times a day as is usually required with physical therapy exercises, but to have the discipline to do so despite an increase in pain. It's one thing to turn up for a doctor's appointment to get a shot or a physical therapy appointment where at least someone is encouraging you. It's another to do it yourself. It's like asking someone to smash their thumb with a hammer 3x daily because if they keep doing it they'll get better.

Anyway, I'm just venting. It's hard. And I've got to do it anyway.


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